Crash and Burn

Tonight sucks.

There will be days like this, many of them I'm told, but it's hard to prepare yourself for them. 

It was a good night.  A night of good food, good friends, and OK wine (I'm not a wine connoisseur, but it was OK in my book), and I was surprised at how quickly it turned.  Wine, I think, toomuch of it anyway, will do that to you.

It was a night, I believe, I needed, but a night I didn't want.  Sometimes, though, you have to let it go, work through it.  Let it out.  Deal with it. 

This post won't be pretty.  If you are expecting something uplifting and positive from me right now, you'll need to turn the other way.  Sometimes, this "poster child for the optimist club" wears a different set of horns. 

I lost my child.  This sucks.  That's about all I've got.

Tune in tomorrow to see if I work though this shit.  I probably will.  This is how I know you can too.

It's funny though, how everyone wants to be in on it, whatever it is, when you are "handling things well" or a role model for all things positive.  They love it when you are stong. They can deal with that.  They can't deal with this.  They can't deal with anger, and I can't say that I blame them. This, however, is reality.  It will get dark some days.  It will get ugly.  It is now that you have to dig deeper, much deeper, and hope that you find that strength that has been keeping you going again.

For Kelci, as always, I know I will find a way.