Thankful, in spite of...

 

I orignally posted this on Facebook, and like others, I've transfered it here to keep my thoughts all in one place, something that eludes me in reality.  Thanksgiving, for me, was not as horrible as I anticipated.  The nine mile run I chose to do in the morning helped with that I'm sure, as did the amazing people that I chose to surround myself with.  My family is a blessing and my strength. 

 

I know this isn't something that will work for everyone, but I put things here that help me deal with my grief.  Being around people, talking about Kelci, and having the percpective that holidays will happen wether I want them to or not and not giving them power help me.  What I mean by not giving them power is I choose to look at them as just another day.  My thoughts were this "I got through yesterday without Kelci, so I'll try again today, so what if it's Thanksgiving, it's just another day." They are all hard, but I choose to find ways to make them bearable. 

 

Posted to Facebook:

 

Most people would easily forgive me if I didn't do a typical "I'm thankful for" post this year. I have many reason to resist. I could be angry at the world, but I'm not. I have a darn good reason to be bitter, but I'm not. I'm sad, a piece of me forever will be, but I'm also so very thankful for so many things. I am thankful for my amazing daughter, Michelle , and son,  Brian, who both, in spite of everything, can still find reasons to smile and laugh and make other people so happy. 

 

I am thankful for my strong, handsome and incredibly sweet husband, Ray, who without, I would be lost. 

 

I am thankful for the rest of my family, near and far, that have done more for me than I can ever repay. Thank you for being there for me. 

 

I am thankful for the amazing friendships that have both formed and strengthened over this year. My world is immensely brigther because of all of you. I am thankful for all the prayers that have been said on our behalf, for all the dinners that have been cooked for us, for all the smiles and hugs we have recieved, for every little kindness that has been shown to us these past 4 months. They have given me more strength than you will ever know. 

 

I am thankful that Kelci's peaceful, loving spirit has touched so many lives and that her light will shine forever. I am so grateful for all the wonderful moments that I was blessed by her presence. Her time here was cut short in quantity, but she made up for it in quality, and the time we had was so overwhelming abundant it will carry us through a lifetime. I am thankful that love is never ending. 

 

I have known great saddness, but I have also been blessed with so much. I have shed more tears than I could ever count, but have spent hours laughing (with many extra laugh lines to prove it) and smiling too. My heart is forever broken, but patches of love and hope can hold it together. Love is strong glue. Give extra thanks for all you have this year and extra hugs to those you love. Happy Thanksgiving, much love and many blessings to all of you. Now, forever and always I am with Kelci.