Painting by Kelci circa 1st grade

The others (those who haven't lost a child) can't completely understand this new life I live no matter how kind and empathetic they are. How could they?  How could I before this loss.  You might think you know, but you don't know.

Hollow words.  "I can't imagine." No, you couldn't.  I beg you don't even try.

Mostly I'm OK. I live my life as fully as I can. I try very hard.  This.  This is HARD.  It never gets easy.  I will have to do this every single day. I know happiness comes from within though, so I fight hard every day.

My heart is filled with love, but always mixed with a touch of sadness. It is just the way it is.  Losing a child brings an emptiness that doesn't fill.  You can survive, even thrive, but the challenge of living your life without your child becomes the way you live. The others could never really understand this. Not fully anyway.  I am a different person, and forever will be, no matter what it looks like to others.
This is just how it is for me. For the most part, I've excepted this, there is no other choice.

Wake up.

Pray for peace and happiness to

 fill my heart.

Hope this takes away 

some of the emptiness and sadness.

Get up.  

See reminders everywhere.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Remind yourself you promised.

You must do this.

Live fully.

She only started to get that chance.

Wake up.

Pray for peace.

Wake up.

Find happiness despite all that was lost.

Get up.

You have life.

Wake up.

Live.